I Take My Lumps

So one night, I'm chatting online with my cousin and my right hand goes to scratch an itch close to the middle of my chest and I gasp in horror. There's a lump. I write to cousin: OMG. But that's all I can muster.

I take a deep breath and tentatively touch that spot again. Yes, sure enough, there is a hard lump. I write to cousin: OMG.

I wait a few more seconds and then reach down my top for a better assessment of what surely is my fate. I am relieved to find that it's a peanut that has fallen down my shirt and lodged in my bra. So I pull it out and eat it.

The next night, out with friends, I recount this tale, reveling in my new lease on life and was quite put out when Ron said: D, you are the only person I know who could go from zero to palliative care in 60 seconds.